Mourning With Those Who Have Lost.

 

I’m not in the mood for a party today.  Like you, I have been shocked and horrified by the events in Connecticut.  I have waited for quiet moments alone, shed tears, and my heart has broken into a million pieces.  I can’t understand how something like this can happen.  How can someone take the lives of sweet and innocent children?  I have shielded my own from the news coverage and from the radio.  I do not want them to be aware of what people are capable of doing to children.  I do not want them to fear going to school, which is supposed to be a safe and fun place for them.  They love school, and I know that if my 5 year old knew what happened last Friday he would be terrified of going.  Who could blame him?

I am so angry.  So heartbroken.  So scared of what kind of a world our children are growing up in.  But as a Christian I do know one thing.  I know that it breaks the heart of God even more than it breaks ours.  God, who watched his only son murdered on the cross, for sinners like me.  He knows the pain of losing a child.  Some people may ask why God would allow something like this to happen.  What happened on Friday was never a part of God’s plan, but it did not come as a surprise to him.  Man is sinful.  Ever since the fall of man in that garden, so long ago, when Adam and Eve decided that they would take matters into their own hands and went against the will of God.  That is where it began.  You may not agree with what I’m about to say, but here it is… people are not inherently good.  People are inherently bad.  We are selfish and want to mold God into our own image.  By God’s mercy things are not worse off than they are.  By his mercy we live to see another day.  He loves us.  He hates evil.  Someday he will come again and make things right.  We do not know when that day will be, but I pray it is soon because I don’t know how much heartbreak our hearts can take.  My hope is forever in Jesus.

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart here today.  I don’t often share like this, but I had to right now.  I am processing all of this  and it has been really hard for me.  Really hard.  Even harder to not break down in front of my sweet children.  I’m sure we have all spent precious time with our families this weekend and treasured it more than we would have a week ago.  Perhaps the stress of the season seems inconsequential now.  It does for me.  I just want to be with my husband and kids.  I don’t care if the gifts don’t look like Martha Stewart herself wrapped them.  I’m just thankful for my loved ones and I’m praying for those who have to go through this Christmas without theirs.

The Creative Me linky party will be back next week.  It will be the last link up before Christmas, so make sure to have fun, post your projects, and link up with us next Sunday through Monday night.  I’ll close the link up early for Christmas!

Be safe and love your family well this week!

 

Comments

  1. Caroline says:

    Jenny,

    Amen.

    What you’ve expressed is almost exactly how I have responded and processed everything. I agree with everything you said, and think you are amazing for sharing your heart here.
    We too have shielded our children (and have broken down in private) and it is my hope that if they do somehow hear about this that Christ will grant me the wisdom to talk with them about it.
    Gil and I have been praying for the victims and their families and for the future of our children.
    I am comforted by the fact that when we have a personal relationship with Christ He is always there to comfort us. We may not ever understand everything, but He is always our source for healing.
    Sending love to you, dear friend.

    • Thank you for the support, Caroline. Yes, He is the only source for true and complete healing. I pray that the families have a relationship with Him and that they will find healing at some point. I know it’s so fresh now. I cannot begin to imagine their grief. Thank you for your friendship. XO

  2. Cathy Enders says:

    Thanks Jenny. Well said.

  3. Your words spoke to what I have in my heart.

    Thanks doll,
    The Glamorous Housewife

    • It’s hard to put the words on (virtual) paper. The emotions are just so deep and so raw, aren’t they? Thank you for your comment.

  4. Jessica says:

    Hi Jenny, I just found your blog tonight, and I am glad I did. I’ve been trying to put into perspective how such a great God could be in this picture. Thank you. I can’t stop crying for the mothers and fathers of those children. My son is almost 5. Very well written.

    • Hi Jessica, I’m glad you found my blog too! I was in my kindergartner’s class today to decorate gingerbread houses with the children and couldn’t keep from thinking about the children, just like my son and his little classmates, who lost their lives last week, how arbitrary it was. I think we’ll be crying for a long time. But let’s not let our grief, which is a healthy thing, keep us bound in fear. It’s so easy to allow our minds to be controlled by fear and what ifs. We’ll go crazy that way, and in that fear, we tell God that we don’t trust Him. He is worthy of our trust… we must remember that, even when things that we don’t understand happen.

      I hope you’ll come back and visit again, Jessica! It’s normally a very inspiring and cheery place, I promise. :)

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