There are days when I feel like I am failing miserably. I feel overwhelmed by all of the “stuff”. I have three kids at three different schools, essentially, one of them home schooled and attending a tutorial two days a week. I’m not going to list all of the daily “to-do’s. We all have our lists, don’t we? We feel like driving services, cleaning services, cooks, nurses, launderers, teachers, psychologists, coaches, etc., etc., every day, all day long. It gets to be a lot.
I fear many times that I don’t represent Jesus to my children very well. Jesus wouldn’t raise his voice at them. He wouldn’t threaten to throw away all of their toys because they didn’t pick them up. I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t tell my boys every so often that they were acting like spoiled brats. And he wouldn’t have to apologize to them for losing his temper and then ask their forgiveness. He wouldn’t have to do that, but I do…more than I care to admit.
Praise the Lord my children see Jesus in me despite my mistakes and many failings, and he graciously (oh so graciously) gives me glimpses of how my own children see me, and it humbles me and brings me to my knees. Yesterday Luke brought a paper home from church with him.
One of the questions on the paper was…How do you see Jesus?
And Luke’s answer was… I look in my mom’s heart.
When I read that my heart swelled, not with pride but with gratefulness. I’m so thankful that God works through me and that my children see Jesus in me even though I fall short on a daily basis. I don’t pretend to know how that works except that I know that I love the Lord and my children with all of my heart and I know that God honors that. He looks at the heart too. God can look past my ugly exterior and see my heart, and he has given my sweet seven year old son the ability to do that too. I don’t deserve this, but that’s what makes it so precious.
So I encourage you, keep on loving your kids! When you mess up, let them know that you know you made a mistake and that you treasure them and that you’re sorry, so very sorry. Let them see that mommies are people too, and that people are selfish sometimes and can hurt each other’s feelings, and that it’s not okay to do that. Let them know that’s not how God wants us to treat one another. Continue to seek Him. Continue to lean on Him and draw on his strength, because moms, we cannot do this alone. It’s hard work, but he will equip us and he will even love our children through us! Isn’t that amazing? It amazes me.